I was thrilled.  I mean like cloud 9 pleased.  This weekend I went shopping for jeans, which can be a terrible experience.

But on stop number one, Torrid, I found them.  They were boot cut, they were a little stretchy but didn’t seem to fall down if I moved like some jeans with too much stretch.  They weren’t torn or too weirdly distressed.  This made the lack of success later at Forever 21 funny, yay!

The best thing about the Torrid jeans, though, was that now that I knew from in person try ons what worked, I could avail myself of their substantial online offerings.  Decent color, good fit, just what I wanted and could acquire again and again.

Except when I put them on for real this morning and went to clip my phone to my pocket.

There is no pocket.

Oh sure, it looks like it has hip and back pockets!  These are fake pockets, the worst thing EVER in Women’s clothing lines.

Why would you fake me out and make it look like a pocket, but then, in jeans that are built for it, just not put in the actual pocket.  What if my keys need to be stashed nearby?  When I get change and don’t have time to fumble in my purse?  Why do you tease me with perfectly good potential pockets, the pull the purpose out?

Oh Torrid, you came so close to being the inheritor of my beloved Gap business (who canceled my preferred style, just before my size changed so the ones I stocked up on at the tail end of the style’s life no longer fit) but I don’t know that you can be trusted now.  You fooled me once, I’m not sure I can take it again!

TLDR; Fake pockets are the worst.  No one should endure that deception.